making a case for brown nail varnish

With a whole world of "pretty" colours to choose from, it does seem a bizarre idea to paint your nails what is probably regarded as the least appealing colour of all. (It is, after all, the colour of poo.) But to go along with my well documented brown lipstick obsession, I've recently been all about a murkier look on my fingertips. Brown nail varnish says "I have done my nails, but don't think I've spent lots of time thinking about my nails, because I've been thinking about very important things." I think brown makeup strikes a perfect balance between between scruffy and polished, combining elements of grunginess (after all, it is also the colour of dirt) and business (because it is the colour of leather, wood, etc.) Ok, enough about things which are brown, onto some nail colours.

 The Lilac-y Browns on my thumb and pointer are the most obviously appealing (and, probably not coincidentally,least brown) browns - a gateway-brown, if you will.These two look really nice, apply smoothly, last well and are generally great.
 The Dark Browns on my ring and little finger are also surprisingly aesthetically pleasing. I think they are a cooler take on the Chanel-Rogue-Noir type of look. The e.l.f. fellow is slightly warmer, while the Rimmel is almost a black-brown. Like black's slightly cooler but less successful little sister.
 Then there is the truly Ugly Brown on my middle finger (perhaps no coincidence, as it is somewhat of a middle finger to the concept of pretty nail varnish). It's a slightly greeny-mustardy bile-ish brown. But sometimes I love these really ugly colours, particularly when paired with something really conventionally "pretty" in contrast, like shiny pinky lipstick or a really girly dress or something. It is a challenging colour, but I've been wearing nail varnish for about 15 years, and I'm ready for a challenge. I have always wanted to be an overachiever. People probably told James Joyce Ulysses was stupid, just like they'll tell you you're nails look ugly. Don't worry, they just don't understand.